The Idiot's Guide to Working with Dana Scully
by esotaria
Summary: Doggett finds something interesting in Mulder's desk...and it isn't just the tapes. {FINISHED}
1. The Idiot's Guide

The Idiot's Guide to Working with Dana Scully The Idiot's Guide to Working with Dana Scully  
by Katie  
Disclaimer: Do I look like an surfer-gone-writer or a t.v. company? I think not.  


XXX

  
Snooping in Mulder's desk. Scully would kill me if she ever found out. She's more possessive of this thing than a she-wolf of her cubs.  
  
Common sense and self-preservation tell me I should just back away from the desk right now, and go back to my little corner and catch up on some of the older X-Files. Common sense and self-preservation are very important to a good investigator. So's curiousity, and right now, that's what's winning the fight. So, throwing all good sense to the wind, I have begun shamelessly snooping through Mulder's desk.  
  
Porno tapes...who the heck would keep porno tapes at the office? And why wouldn't've Scully gotten rid of them? Wait, scratch that-she's waiting for him to come back; of course she wouldn't get rid of his things. Studiously avoiding furthur study, I put away the tapes, and open up the drawer above it. Under a bunch of documents covered both with Scully's precise handwriting and Mulder's erratic scrawl I find a box labeled 'Scully'. Looking inside, I find hundreds of pictures, both posed and candid, of Scully. Sometimes with Mulder, most often alone. I glance through them only briefly, something inside me recoiling from delving deeper into something so personal. I close the box carefully, and put it back in the drawer.  
  
Wait. There's something there....a sheet of papers untouched by Scully's hand. Curious, I slide them out. The Idiot's Guide to Working With Dana Scully, by Fox Mulder.  
  
What the bloody heck?!?  
  
At the moment, every single ounce of common sense in my body is screaming " put the papers down, and go back to your desk!". I probably should listen to them.  
  
I don't.  
  
Ever since I began working on the X-Files I've wanted to get to know Agent Mulder, both to understand why he loves the files, and why Agent Scully is so devoted to him. And you know what they say, the most revealing thing about a person is their writing.  
  
Besides, I could use all the advice I can get about working with Scully.  
  
Shoving aside the last lingering traces of guilt, I turn to the first page, and as I begin to read, I can almost hear Mulder's voice reading the words aloud.  
  
_I am an idiot. A complete and utter idiot. I can't believe I forgot the cardinal rule of Scully.  
  
Don't baby.  
  
Not that I can really help it. (God, I hope she doesn't find this...) I know she's strong, and I know she can take care of herself...Lord knows she's taken care of me more times than I can count...am I really at fault for wanting to return the favor?  
  
I've been forgetting a lot of the important nuances of our partnership recently it seems. Which is why I'm writing them all down, in case I need reminding. Or, heaven forbid, They finally suceed in breaking us apart and Scully has to break in a new partner. (don't think like that, Mulder...)  
  
So, whether it be for me, or a future Scullypartner, let's get down and dirty. (oo, not a nice image there, Spooky....)  
  
_ I have to grin. I can just imagine tall, lanky Mulder trying to protect petite Scully, only to be cowed down again by her wrath. I can feel myself warming up to the man already. I too had been on the receiving end of the Scullytemper, and it's not an experiance I want repeat, if I have a choice in the matter.  
  
The manuscript in my hands is thick. Good Lord, how much could the man write about one woman? A whole lot, so it seems. Not that I can really blame him, but we're not going there, John. I don't know when Scully will be back from lunch, so I'll have to content myself with chapter titles. (chapter titles? the man's obsessed)  
  
_Chapter One: The Cardinal Rule of Scully-Don't Baby. Dire Consequences Invariably Ensue.  
  
Chapter Two: Proof-You Can Never Have Enough._ (Mulder's abduction must've been life-altering...)  
  
_Chapter Three: Honesty's Best Policy. Lie to Her and You're a Dead Man When She Finds Out._ (ain't that the truth)  
  
_Chapter Four: The Different Scully "I'm Fines" and How to Tell Them Apart. _(he could actually make an entire chapter out of two words?)  
  
_Chapter Five: Ditching-Just Say No._ (now I know where she got the idea to pull that stunt with the Jesus slug...wish she had listened to her own advice)  
  
_Chapter Six: Trust No One. Not Even Old Friends. Especially Ex-partners Named Diana Fowley._ (Diana Fowley? that name rings a bell....wasn't she an x-file?)  
  
_Chapter Seven: Secret Informants. She Doesn't Trust Them. You're Better Off Not Mentioning Them. (see chapter three)_(informants? curiouser and curiouser) _Chapter Eight: Frohike. 'Nuff Said. (what does that little toad have to do with Scully?)  
  
Chapter Nine: Coddling-You Try to Pull It on Her and You're Dead, but Don't Even Dream of Trying to Stop Her from Doing It to You._(I hope he's talking about all the accidents he's been in...)  
  
_Chapter Ten: Dealing With Abductions._  
  
Dealing with abductions? I could probably use a little advice on that subject. I continue reading.  
  
_Dealing with Abductions: You can't. Don't even try. Just go insane with obsession, and pray that some powerful force will have enough mercy on your poor crazed soul to return her to you before you get yourself killed._  
  
I wince at the bitterness in his words. The Bureau grapevine had not done the two of them justice. My fun gone sour, I slowly put the manuscript back in its rightful place, and slowly close the drawer.  
  
I had just settled down at my desk when Scully walked in, looking cool and proffesional as ever. She barely acknowledges my presence, sitting down at her desk and immediatly working on a report. I study her out of the corner of my eyes, and mentally add another chapter to Mulder's book.  
  
_Chapter Eleven: Standing Between Scully and Mulder. Bad Idea.  
  
Standing Between Scully and Mulder: Don't do it. Extremely hazardous. Very similiar to standing between a tunnel entrance and a speeding train. Don't risk it, it's really not worth it, and you'd never suceed, anyway._  


XXX  
End 


	2. The Cardinal Rule of Scully

Note: Rejoice all ye peoples! Katie Janeway has agreed to write out the actual Idiot's Guide. Email her at xphiletrekkie79@yahoo.com and bow before her greatness. ^_^ Just as a warning, I wrote Dogget's part (and a little Mulder), and it's been awhile since I've seen XF, so they'll probably be somewhat OOC. My apologies. 

~*~*~*~

            Creeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeak. That damn door's entirely too loud. I catiously peek around it, and heave a sigh of relief. Thank God, she's actually gone home. I enter the office with a considerably lighter step, and beeline for Mulder/Scully's desk, heading straight for the manuscript. Ever since I picked it up a week ago, it's been bugging me. I only got to read the chapter titles then. But with Scully gone and the rest of the world asleep, I finally have the chance to read the entire thing. 

            I sit down in their chair, and open the drawer containing the manuscript. Once again I put aside the photos, respecting Agent Mulder's privacy (to some extent). Beneath them lies what I'm looking for, and I carefully pull the stack of papers out. Turning to the first page, I begin to read.

Ch 1- The Cardinal Rule of Scully-Don't Baby 

            This seems to be my worst problem. The moment Scully's hurt or in trouble, I go ballistically mother-hen. And then she shoots me down, and I become the ghost of a ballistic mother-hen.

            What is it with short women and being tough?

            **Babying Scully would consist of the following:**

· INSISTING SHE STAY AWAY FROM THE CASE. For example, Donnie Phaster, round two. 

· REMINDING HER THAT IT'S OKAY TO WALK AWAY ONCE A CASE BEGINS TO BOTHER HER. Donnie Phaster, round one. She insisted on sticking around, that she was fine. I've heard that before. (See Ch 5)

· FIGHTING HER BATTLES FOR HER. If she appears to be able to handle the suspect, don't butt in. And if she's arguing with another agent, definitely don't butt in.

**Why shouldn't you baby Scully? **

· SHE'S YOUR PARTNER. That means you need to work together. And respect each other. Babying her would offend her.

· SHE CAN TAKE CARE OF HERSELF. Don't believe it? What about those times when she's ditched you? Or when she met with Cancer Man and went on that trip with him?

· SHE CAN SAVE YOUR BUTT. Where do I start? There was that worm incident in the Arctic. Or after the alien bounty hunter. 

Consequences 

· SHE WON'T TALK TO YOU. That can make any investigation difficult.

· THE FAMOUS SCULLY GLARE. Need I say more? Happens after butting in and arguing for her.

· SHE WON'T WANT TO HELP. Help will only be given grudgingly, if she decides to. She'll glare at you for making her do the autopsy, track the suspect, or go through a microscope.

· HURT HER REPUTATION. If I'm the one reading this, I don't need to explain. But I will, in case someone else does. Scully has already been dragged down with the X-files assignment.

· SHE'LL BABY YOU. What adult man wants that? 

· SHE'LL STICK IT OUT, NO MATTER WHAT. You've got to admit, Scully's tough. Tell her she isn't, and she sets out to prove you wrong. Donnie Phaster did a number on her head like nothing I've ever seen, but she still went after him. Mainly to prove that she really was "fine" and could handle it. And after the case, ok, _both_ cases, she wasn't the same for a while. A little more nervous, little more anxious to prove her toughness. 

The bottom line is, Scully doesn't want to be babied. She'll back out only when she decides to back out. You just need to deal with it. 


	3. Proof

And here we have chapter 2!! ^_^ This time with no additions from me. I also added a short little thing to chapter 1, so that might be worth taking a skim through. Someday I'll get around to some formatting editing, but yeah…emphasis on someday. Enjoy! And remember- xphiletrekkie79@yahoo.com –email and tell her she rules!

****

**Chapter 2**** - Proof: You Can Never Have Enough**

                My reputation is gone. Scully's is fading. And all because WE DON"T HAVE PROOF. 

                Proof is the Holy Grail of our work on the x-files. It's what we keep working for, and they keep taking away. But we'll have some, someday, that they _can't_ deny.

                It took me so long to get Scully to believe me. I'm still not sure sometimes, if she does or if she's just humoring me.

                But I can't worry about that. I have to worry about them. Those men in the government, who are trying to conceal the truth. 

                They've murdered witnesses. Stolen the implants that we got ahold of. Burned the x-files. Shut us down. They do whatever they can to keep us from getting proof.

                After that whole thing with the bees, I thought someone would listen. But they covered it up. The crops were destroyed, and the project set up elsewhere. As for dead bodies, those were "poor victims of the Hanta virus." 

                We get so close to the truth. So close. Then they step in, and we're left with nothing.

                So I have to protect what I know. I've tried saving to computers, but Scully's computer was destroyed on our first case, and others have been hacked into. And not just by the Lone Gunmen. Committing stuff to memory won't work; they can alter memories.

So what should be done?

· TELL A GUY LIKE ALBERT HOLSTEIN. He'll tell twenty other guys like him, and they can tell twenty guys, and Cancer Man won't be able to get 'em all. Unless he wants to kill everyone, of course.

· TRUST NO ONE EXCEPT SCULLY with information. Not even Skin-man, unless it's necessary.

Come to think of it, those are the only methods that have worked, so far. Any other concrete proof, or people who can provide it, like Gibson Praise and X, are dead or hiding. 

Actually, we do have one piece of evidence they haven't taken. But I can't use it to expose them. Scully would be hurt. And I hurt her enough by keeping it from her, trying to protect her. And I can think of a better use for it than for some hollow personal cause of mine. 

The Lone Gunmen can hold proof for you, but Frohike thinks it'll set Cancer Man after him. Better to just not give them evidence. That guy has enough to worry about. (See Ch 8)

How can you get more proof, in case something is eliminated? (Though probably everything will vanish anyway.)

· BARGAIN WITH THE DEVIL. But I can guarantee you'll get burned.

· SEARCH WHERE YOU AREN"T SUPPOSED TO BE. Military bases, federal buildings, dig sites…

· TRUST AN INFORMANT. Ties in with above. More on this later.

Other than that, cross your fingers. Hope you get lucky. And if you do get undeniable proof, hope to God that you haven't paid too high a price.


	4. Honesty's Best Policy

Chapter 3- Honesty's Best Policy. Lie To Her And You're A Dead Man When She Finds Out. 

Believe me, this is not a rule to forget. When I said "Dead Man," I mean dead as in murdered and six feet under. Not good. 

Unfortunately, I've broken this rule. Several times. And did I mention that withholding information could count as lying, depending on Scully's mood?

**EXAMPLE**: Nowhere, Texas. (Well, ok, Northern Texas, but it felt like nowhere.) Anyway, Scully and I went chasing after tanker trucks. I neglected to mention to her that those tanker trucks might have been holding an extraterrestrial virus. 

She was pissed when she found out. Very pissed. She began to explain to me that it was "fitting" (note the sarcasm) for her to be with me, chasing phantom tanker trucks, when she had to attend an important hearing in eleven hours. And did I mention we were at an apparent dead end?

Scully really knows how to pile on the guilt. She hadn't wanted to come in the first place, but I'd convinced her (and she'd seen something interesting that she wanted to talk to me about, but that could've waited). Now we were at a dead end, or at least it looked like one. I was ready to call it quits so she would at least talk to me by the end of the week. The only reason I didn't get any more lecture-time that night was because we _did_ find the tankers. They went right by us. 

**EXAMPLE**: Cell phone pranks. I know, I know, doesn't sound like anything major. Just a harmless little white lie, letting her believe you're somewhere else.

Scully doesn't think it's funny. It's the famous Scully Glare when she turns around to see you behind her. That is, after the shock.

Of course, she knows you're trying to be funny. So she tolerates it more than other things, like, say, hiding evidence. So she might get you back.

**EXAMPLE**: Hiding evidence. Big no-no. To her, it means you don't trust her. Which makes her think you might be protecting her. And that leads to the consequences discussed in Ch 1.

**EXAMPLE**: Informants. Better tell her if you get a new one. She doesn't trust them, and wants to know about them. That way, if you're led on a wild goose chase, she can blame you for trusting them.

It is not a good idea to lie to Scully. Not at all. Very hazardous to your health. I've only given a few examples, because I really don't like to admit how many times I've gotten in trouble over this. Let's just say a lot. Probably twice a year, at least, but likely more than that.

Lying to Scully. Just don't do it.


	5. The Different Scully I'm Fines

**Chapter 4****- The Different Scully "I'm Fine"s and How To Tell Them Apart.**

            _"I'm fine."_  A phrase I've heard way too many times while working with Scully. I hate to say it, but I've come to expect hearing it as much as I expect the scientific, rational explanation-of-the-week.

So Scully says she's fine. Okay, what next? Depends on how she says it. Therefore, **KNOW HER TONE.**

· CALM: She really is fine, or else she's doing a damn good acting job.

· BREATHLESS: This can be expected after chasing someone or some_thing_. Or after a fight. If Scully cannot explain the some_thing_, she might throw in a "What was that?" or something similar.

The above two are nothing to worry about. Usually. There's only been one time where it was a cause for alarm:

Scully vanished one day. She wasn't abducted; she ditched me and went after Cancer Man. I guess she thought I wouldn't let her go if she told me. She knows me too well. We'd been trying to track her down, when she called Skinner. She told him to tell me she was fine. That was her mistake. If she'd wanted me to believe her, she would have told me herself. But Cancer Man is trouble. And I couldn't find her. It was one of the few times I couldn't find her.

But that's over with, and I need to quit the guilt. This guide needs to be finished, just in case.

It's the following tones or way of speaking that should be regarded with concern or caution.

· TREMBLING: obviously, Scully is most definitely _not_ "fine." Be prepared for a rare Scully emotional breakdown. A melting of what my colleagues (can I call fellow FBI colleagues anymore?) the "Ice Queen" façade. Hugging is accepted under these circumstances, but you have to initiate it.

· HIGH PITCHED: Look out world: there's a possible pissed-off Scully coming your way. Or she's distressed, or denying feelings. Deal with each possible outcome accordingly.

o Distressed: See TREMBLING

o Denial: Don't pressure. Only repeat the "Are you okay?" question once. Try to look in her eyes. You can tell if she's in full denial, or just trying to be strong that way. If it's the latter, comforting may be needed. If she's really in denial, you'll just have to wait until she can deal.

o Angry: Do Not Pressure. Under any circumstances. It'll only make things worse. She's not in the mood to have you being nosy, and if she thinks you are, then your death warrant is signed. Switch subjects, and let Scully cool off.

DOES SHE SAY ANYTHING ELSE? 

If your name follows the statement, she probably needs comfort. If it's at the beginning, you may be in trouble. Use the tone guide to be certain.

            **BODY LANGUAGE**

Does this really need explaining? I think you can figure it out for yourself. After all, crossed arms = anger or defensiveness, moving away = she doesn't want to talk about it, & moving closer = (Usually) comfort me. What more do you need to know?

            This chapter has been essential to working with Scully, so if you've just skimmed it, GO OVER IT AGAIN.


	6. Ditching

**Chapter 5**** - Ditching: Just say "No."**

            To begin with, there are several ways of ditching. That is, as far as Scully's concerned. There's mental ditching, verbal ditching, and there's actual, physical ditching.

MENTAL DITCHING 

            This would be any time you've spent more time thinking to yourself than bouncing ideas off Scully. This is acceptable, as long as you don't do it in excess. Stay in your own mind too long, and she starts to worry about you. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it can complicate matters. A worried Scully is worse than a worried Mulder, not matter what. And it doesn't need proving. I've compared our reactions enough to know it's true.

VERBAL DITCHING 

            Also known as anything you say that sounds like you don't care. Scully has a sensitive side; she just doesn't show it. Act like you don't care that she's there, and you are a dead man.

            Obviously, this means voice your opinions. Even if they annoy her. Ask her about her opinion. Listen. That's the basics.

            There's also using the right tone, the right words, etc. I can't advise on that. It's a knowledge that only comes after working with Scully for a while. A _long_ while.

            This form of ditching may also involve insults. Yes, Scully and I have been known to insult each other. Most of the times it's jokingly, although I'm not sure about that "poopyhead" business. If you insult her and mean it, though, you'd better run. Or at least be prepared for majorly hurt feelings. That applies to you and to her.

ACTUAL, PHYSICAL DITCHING 

            Just what it sounds like. And the worst crime you can commit if you work with Scully.

            First of all, you won't be able to disappear for long. Scully and I have a knack for finding each other. So if I'm the one reading this, it's obvious that Scully knows me too well. Either that or I'm not as careful as I think when it comes to covering my tracks.

            If this isn't me reading, know this: Scully is determined. You leave, and unless she truly thinks the world would be better off without you, she'll find you. Maybe even then. She knows how to poke, pry, research, and ask the right questions. There is no escaping this woman if she decides to find you. 

            I've traveled to other countries, and she still has found me. I think the only time she had any trouble was when I went to Russia with Krycek. She's picked me (disguised) from a group of bank robbers. 

            She will find you. There will be hell to pay. Unless she has to play doctor, in which case you're not only glad she's found your sorry ass, but thanking God that she can't be too angry with you because you're hurt. (By the way, if you have any confessions to make to her, don't do it while in the hospital after she's taken care of you. She'll think you're delirious.)

            Also: Scully ditching you. Not likely to happen, though it has. But only once, twice, maybe three times. Generally with good reason. Just make sure you find her. And make sure she's okay when you do.


	7. Trust No One

**Chapter 6**** - Trust No One. Not Even Old Friends. Especially Ex-partners Named Diana Fowley.**

Just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean they're not out to get you. I've mentioned this a few times in my life. It's true, although no one admits it but me. There are secrets being kept, and Scully and I are the pawns of those responsible for keeping those secrets.

We can't trust anyone. It's too dangerous. Those who can be trusted would be killed. Those who can't be trusted will lead us to our deaths.

 It's happened before. I saw it happen to my father. He trusted the wrong people, and I trusted him. He died as a result.

            Old friends change as time goes on. It happens. People we used to spend time with will step on us to reach the top. I remember that friend of Scully's. The one who set us on the trail of Eugene Tooms. 

            He didn't care about our views, wouldn't listen to us. Hell, he didn't even want me there. But that isn't the point. He attempted to end our investigation to make himself look good. The FBI is all about climbing the ladder, it seems.

Diana Fowley 

            Four words: **S**cully. **D**oesn't. **L**ike. **H**er. Three words: **O**r. **T**rust. **H**er. Two words: **Y**ou. **S**houldn't. One word: **E**ither.

            Sounds a little extreme, I know. But Scully was right. I trusted Diana, and it led to trouble. She worked with Cancer man. I think she's dead, but we've thought people were dead before. They returned. So Diana might.

            Some things to remember about Diana, in case she does show up:

· She doesn't like Scully. I think there's some jealousy between them. Probably over the whole past-partner, present-partner bit. I'm not sure I want to know if it's anything else.

· Just because she's an old flame doesn't mean she likes you, or cares. Even if she claims to. Course, I should've figured that, considering my luck with women. Or lack of it.

· She worked with Cancer Man. 

· She knows the x-files. This is probably the most dangerous fact of all. Although, maybe that'd be her dislike of Scully. A woman with knowledge of the x-files, and my past, can be dangerous. She knows how to manipulate me. How to get me to trust her again.

· Let me reiterate one point: She doesn't like Scully. Those two get together, grab a jacket because the temperature will drop. Get earplugs if they argue. Better yet, stay out of their way. Get far away.

You can't trust anyone except Scully and yourself. Not even Skinner, though he's been known to help us out occasionally. It's too dangerous. I'm not even sure that Scully and I can trust each other, or ourselves, sometimes. When the truth is exposed with no danger to Scully and I, I'll change it to "trust everyone." But not until then.


	8. Informants

**Chapter 7**** - Secret Informants. She Doesn't Trust Them. You're Better Off Not Mentioning Them.**

Trust me on this. You do not want to tell Scully that you've found out about a fascinating x-file from an anonymous source. The last time I did that, we were headed to Dreamland (aka Area 51) and she started talking about having a normal life. Save both of you the aggravation. You're better off just avoiding the truth.

**Deep Throat**

There's only been one informant who Scully ever actually trusted, and that wasn't until the end. He helped us considerably in our first year together, tipping off about aircraft, aliens, and more. He got us access to classified areas.

Scully first thought he was pulling my chain. That he was using us for his own reasons. I'm not sure what eventually changed her mind, but Deep Throat must've done something pretty damn impressive. 

Unfortunately, he was killed. They found him out. And we were left unaided. Mostly.

**Senator Matheson**

I had help from him for a while. But he eventually got too nervous. Of course, I guess I can't blame him. It's very easy to make yourself a target in this game that we all seem to be pawns in. 

            The last big thing he tipped me off to was Arecibo. But Scully and I could only grab the tapes. They got wiped clean by an electrical surge. Once again, there's the proof lesson. I should've grabbed a few of those printouts.

**X**

Our most reluctant informant. He seemed to think I'm the reason Deep Throat was killed. Maybe he was right. In which case I'm responsible for him, too, since I'm fairly sure he's dead.

He was easy enough to contact, (just leave an 'X' up) but getting information from him was tough. But what he did get us was useful. 

**Others**

We had a guy tip us off about Area 51 once. That didn't pan out. Like Scully said, it was probably just an overeager Trekkie.

The Lone Gunmen help sometimes. And there's Skinner. 

Cancer Man helps at times, if what he does can be called "helping". I'm sure he only cured Scully's cancer for a reason of his own. If you use his info, be careful of the price.


	9. Frohike

**Chapter 8****- Frohike. Nuff Said.**

            First of all, if anything happens to me, Frohike gets all those videos that aren't mine.

            Now that that's taken care of, let me issue a warning: Do not leave Scully alone with Frohike. Ever. Why?

· She'll hate you.

· He'll be peeing through a catheter.

· She'll hate you.

· She'll kill you.

Frohike spends most of his time lusting after Scully, whenever we visit the Gunmen. It's amazing. That little guy just doesn't let up. If she isn't with me, he's asking me about her.

Scully spends most of her time avoiding Frohike. Can't say I blame her. I wouldn't want Frohike hitting on me, either. 

He's useful though. He got Scully's medical records out of the hospital, after her return. He helped find the bee that stung her. He stopped her from making a total fool of herself in Vegas, although I believe her reply to that was "I'm going to kick their asses." Well, they did trick her into going out there. But I wish I'd seen her at that bar. 

            Frohike's also the most paranoid of the Gunmen. Little guy actually thought Cancer Man was out to kill him, once. Why would he be after Frohike? 

            As to those videos I mentioned earlier, I promise they aren't mine. You can ask Scully – if you're actually on good terms with her. Just make sure Frohike gets 'em. But you might want to keep Scully away after he views them. Something tells me his actions toward her would become even more annoying, due to escalating daydreams.


	10. Coddling

**Chapter 9****_- Coddling****-You Try to Pull It on Her and You're Dead, but Don't Even Dream of Trying to Stop Her from Doing It to You.**  

            Let me make one thing clear: Coddling is _not _the same as babying. Not really.

Coddling is more the act of physically comforting Scully. No, not that way! Better stay away from the magazines and videos for awhile, Spooky…

            When dealing with Scully, remember that the "I'm Fine" guide can help. If she's distressed and doesn't protest, give her a hug. If she's pissed and wants to kill you, better back away.

            Coddling is as much your own tone of voice as Scully's temperament. Be soothing, reassuring. If she has a gun at you, try to remember that Scully is not being rational. If she shoots you, well hey, you'll get coddled. Nothing wrong with that.

            As far as being physical goes, be gentle. Doesn't matter if your hugging her, carrying her, or trying to keep her warm. She's vulnerable, and her mood is fragile, so you have to be careful.

            **When to use coddling**

· After a case that has extremely rattled her: Donnie Phaster, Pagget, etc. The really creepy people.

· In the Arctic or Antarctic.

· After a near-death experience.

When Scully will coddle you 

· After an injury.

· When you're sick.

· In the Arctic or Antarctic

· After case with emotional repercussions.

· If she just thinks you need it.

As you can tell, Scully is the coddler. Keep that in mind, and you'll survive.

            Footsteps. God dammit, what's the time? I check my watch. 6 o'clock? Jesus, I've been reading all night! It's gotta be Scully…only she would come into the building this damn early. Hurriedly I shove the manuscript back into its place, absently regretting that I would be unable to read the last chapter, and jump into my own desk, just as the lady herself walks in the door. She gives me a cool look and I smile back at her, perhaps a bit too innocently. God dammit, I hate all this sneaky stuff.

            "Mornin', Scully!" I say. "You're here early."

            "As are you," Scully replies.

            "Just catching up on some more of the X-Files," I respond. An awkward silence falls. "And I really have to go to the bathroom. Back in a bit!" I scurry out of the room, grateful to be out of her disconcerting presence. God, she must think I'm a moron.

            With room to breath I think about that last chapter, about dealing with abductions. Damn I wish I could have read that. It could have cleared so many things up for me.

            I shrug. Maybe tomorrow. For now, a cup of hot sludge and a stale muffin are in order.


	11. Dealing with Abductions

So this is it...the end, folks. Once again Katie Janeway has done a fabulous job and deserves a huge round of applause for taking on this monster. *bows to the other Katie* I made a little addition to the end of chapter nine and chapter 10 based on a comment made by All Mighty Terrestrial. Thanks for sticking around, guys. It's been fun. Katie, it's been a pleasure working with you...so to speak. ^_^  
~*~*~*~  
I watch Doggett hurry away, torn between annoyance and vague amusement. He's got guilt signs written all over him-bet he's been snooping in Mulder's desk. I walk over and see that one of the drawers is open slightly. 

            Oh God. It's that drawer.

            Doggett forgotten, I sit down in Mulder's seat and gently pull out the manuscript that had been so carelessly shoved back in. I stroke it tenderly, fixing folds and creases, and open up to the last chapter.

**Chapter 10****- Dealing With Abductions.**

You can't. Don't even try. Just go insane with obsession, and pray that some powerful force will have enough mercy on your poor crazed soul to return her to you before you get yourself killed.  
            There are no words to describe the feeling of failure when someone is taken. I lost Samantha, and I thought I'd lost Scully. Both times, someone I cared about wanted me to help. And I couldn't. I was helpless, unable to stop it. I tried, but I failed.

Enter obsession. In Samantha's case, I was so desperate to find her I ignored Scully's safety. I spent my time chasing after a little girl I knew would be older and not likely to recognize me, if she could be found at all. But her cries had eaten their way into my nightmares, and I couldn't stop. Scully's voice did the same.

That's why they took Scully from me. They came damn close to breaking me then. Nowhere to search for her, Duane Barry dead, Krycek gone…it was as painful as losing Samantha. Perhaps more so. As a psychologist, I know that talk can be therapy. But to talk with Mrs. Scully as if Scully was gone…gone forever…I couldn't face the idea that she wouldn't return or would be found dead.

And so I kept looking. I ignored the x-files, for the first time in my work with them. Superiors wanted me to back off, but I wouldn't. Not if I could find her. Even if I had a case, for eventually I had to work, had to earn my pay, I thought only of her. Not even Samantha entered my mind during those weeks, after the initial moments. Samantha was then, and Scully was now. I hadn't found Samantha, but I thought I could find Scully and maybe redeem myself.

The FBI warns you during training, that losing a partner is possible. They tell you the risks. Everyone understands that their life is on the line every day, if they are in the field. 

I didn't tell Scully there were other risks. That because of me, she would suffer. I had hoped it wouldn't happen, that splitting us up was enough. And I felt responsible in a way I never had before.

When she was found, lying there, between life and death, I was crazy. To lose a partner, a friend, is bad, but nowhere near as bad as the fact that they might die in front of you. People rarely return from death, even in the x-files.

Don't ever let Scully go unprotected, if it can be helped. I know that I'm contradicting my first chapter, but contradiction is in human nature. For anyone reading this, another or myself: Let Scully know the risks. Maybe you'll avoid losing her. If not, then never quit looking. It's impossible to go on alone.

Tears come to my eyes at this last sentence, and gently I stroke the page.

"Isn't that the truth," I whisper.


End file.
